Emperor of Ice Cream

I had the best ice cream last night. And I don't mean only in taste, but in humor as well. Dove has a flavor called "Unconditional Chocolate". There is no pretending who their target audience is, or isn't. Unconditional like the emotion chocolate emulates: love. There should be a reference to it in the area of the drug store for PMS medication. "For fast, effective emotional pain relief nothing is proven more effective than Unconditional Chocolate." On the carton it reads "I won't judge you." Well, it doesn't but it should.


Speaking of ice cream, I just got done reading 'Salem's Lot. In it, King references this poem that's been stuck in my mind all week:

 Call the roller of big cigars,
       The muscular one, and bid him whip
       In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
       Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
       As they are used to wear, and let the boys
       Bring flowers in last month's newspapers.
       Let be be finale of seem.
       The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

       Take from the dresser of deal
       Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
       On which she embroidered fantails once
       And spread it so as to cover her face.
       If her horny feet protrude, they come
       To show how cold she is, and dumb.
       Let the lamp affix its beam.
 The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

It's about a funeral, or at least takes place at one.  It's not so much
about chocolate ice cream: unconditional or otherwise.  Here's a link that
does a nice job dissecting the poem:
http://unix.cc.wmich.edu/~cooneys/tchg/640/Mark.Emperor.html